We live in a world where the degree of fake-ness of your glares (read Raj-ban, not Ray-ban) can decide a persons coolness quotient. A phone can say a lot about you. There are actual research papers on this topic that are used by recruiters for behavioral studies of potential candidates.
1. The iPhone: You are rich! Theres no way you can justify the functionality for that price. There are phones that are available for half the price. Consider yourself among the sensible sub-type if you did not run out to buy the new iPhone 4s even though you already had the previous edition! Apple has successfully sucked you into its addictive world of trans-human philosophy. Accept it, you are an Apple fanboy. (Apple fanboys will probably sue this post)
2. Samsung Galaxy: You adore asian perfection (limited only to technology, other domains are not covered in this study) You like wearing skinny jeans and skinny shirts just to show how thin (read: skinny) your phone is! You are rich too, not as much as the iPhone people, but a close second.
3. Maxx/Spice/Karbonn/Lemon, Orange, Mango and the works..: The new breed of people phones! They include everything, right from the humble blackcherry to the high end oPhone. You like to have every possible feature out there in your phone and more. Projector, Radio, WIFI, messenger, Can opener you name it and your phone has it. Patenting issues or the phones life don’t worry you. Don’t let anyone ridicule you for having a projector or a salt tester in your phone. Rock On!
4. Blackberry: The most rapidly expanding group of people out there. You like to chat – A lot! When you are not updating your next status message on Facebook, you are typing away furiously on the minuscule keys of your Blackberry. They would gladly buy the iPhone if it had a physical keyboard, dedicated messenger and a trackball in the middle of the touchscreen. Your conversations include a lot of Mwaahzzz and Lolzzzz. The number of smileys supersedes the number of normal characters in a sentence.
P.S. They sometimes forget that a blackberry is an actual fruit.
5. An Android: The smart ones. Why pay for something when its available for free – Legally! Android coders consider themselves as the messiahs of the technology world. You love the good old iPhone vs Android debates and tell off iPhone users with a cool “Does your phone do this?”
You just might be reading this on your android, right?
6. The Galaxy Note: You deserve to be socially outcasted. (hence a different category all together) A phone that doesn’t fit into your pocket is not technically a phone. If you own this, you probably own a Mens Bra, which is as unnecessary as the Galaxy Note. You are rich too… and stupid!
7. Nokia: Lets just say you’d like your phone to work even after a nuclear apocalypse. Still considered by many as the pinnacle in robustness. If you still use this, you
a) are too lazy to buy a flashlight (1100!!)
or b) Still think Apple, Lemon and Blackberry are things we eat.
The average Nokia user is a woman (87% according to a recent study)
The name of the town of Nokia originated from the river which flowed through the town. The river itself, Nokianvirta, was named after the old Finnish word originally meaning sable, later pine marten. A species of this small, black-furred predatory animal was once found in the region, but it is now extinct… Just like the phones will be very soon!
Fact of the day: On August 2, 1922 when Alexander Graham Bell passed away, all the telephone lines in the world were shut down for 1 hour as a tribute. Continue the tradition, turn off your mobile for an hour every August 2nd. Cheers!